When it comes to bridging the gaps between us, it seems pertinent to go back to basics — simple, honest, sincere and direct questions that we can *all* relate too. Things that matter, like happiness.

Questions we can ask both internally and externally. Perhaps we don’t because we’re so used to the seemingly insignificant moments of ‘How are you? — Yeah good, you?’. Having missed countless opportunities to open ourselves up to more meaningful conversation, its become habit. A safe space, a comfort zone to unconsciously deflect and carry on living a life where we’re “All good” when maybe we’re not.

“Are you happy?” for Monsters, is one of the most important questions we can ever ask another human (or Monster). Perhaps because they ask themselves that question a lot in order to live a…

It’s obviously far easier to open up when we can relate to others, it’s why we often value friendships over family because friends are our chosen family.

We relate in many ways. It’s about what’s familiar to us, not just in our likes and dislikes, opinions and beliefs. But far deeper than that, with love, happiness, sadness. How we feel and communicate both knowingly and unwittingly — shared experiences with similar outputs and perspectives.

All of which revolves around feeling safe. Being relatable is simply a reflection of self in someone else — and what feels more safe than that?? It’s deep and unconscious, and by feeling safe we’re more ‘ourselves’. Happy days.

But can you see the potential pitfalls? We relate to what *we* know and…

We all know whether we’re happy or not. It’s no surprise that many of us cringe when asked “Are you happy?”, because by admitting we’re not means admitting we’re aware of it, and still have shit we gotta do.

To have more meaningful conversation, real connection, to get to *know* someone, we have to make the effort. Which means being open and sincere ourselves. Open to (not fearful of) what we or someone else is thinking or feeling.

I’ve found myself more closed, which is not me, at all. It seems our openness and willingness to ask meaningful questions is connected to our hurt and fear of, or need for, its exposure. …

I imagine many would want the earth to swallow them being asked such a direct question.

We often ask “How are you?” (or variation of). Perfectly reasonable. Depending on who we ask, we may well get a sincere reply, which we may or may not be expecting. But the likelihood is we’d be met with something equally generic “Yeah good, you?”

Because that’s it isn’t it? An open question creates space for an open answer. Anything. And perhaps that’s the point. Perhaps we don’t particularly want sincere and are just being friendly. …

Aaaah ‘positive thinking’, that old chestnut. Here’s the thing, when is ‘positive thinking’ good and when is it not?

Being positive all the time is bullshit. It just means we’re living in Fakenewsland, a false reality where we happily avoid the shit that actually matters. Shit that prevents us from having genuine positive thoughts and experiences.

Let’s be real — life is brutally shit sometimes. That’s normal, the same for us all to more or less a degree. To deny it and rely on false positivity is actually damaging to us humans, our brains ain’t stupid. ‘Faking it’ grates against our authenticity, storing up the difficult stuff. That feeling eats away at us, preventing our true self from being.

…

After the last couple articles, a good friend of mine asked me what I thought about ‘free-will’ — does it really exist? What a question.

My initial response was ‘of course it does’, but after digging a little deeper I began finding reasons to doubt…I have a feeling this is gonna be a contentious, dividing, atom-splittingly controversial subject (and proper long).

‘Free-will’ — The ability (or illusion depending on where you stand with it) to make conscious, unaffected, uninfluenced choice. Individual control over the decisions that direct our own lives.

Does that about sum it up?

Does free-will exist in any form? Really? Or is it just a facade we tell ourselves to make us feel content in our own existence and in fact everything…

I am the loved and the hated. The welcomed and the feared. The good and the bad. The hero and villain. The knight in shining armour and dragon in the tower. I am Mr Perfect and Mr Can’t Do Anything Right.

I am light and dark. I am hurt and healing. Those who loved and didn’t love you. I am held so tightly and allowed to slip through fingers.

I am your greatest ally and arch nemesis. Friend and foe. Lover and enemy. Abuser and victim. I am the security blanket and the hands around your neck.

I am craved…

There’s no beating around the bush on this life lesson, the secret isn’t really a secret, it’s something we all know but can struggle to…well, accept.

There’s your big mystery, the holy grail of life — acceptance. Wholehearted and unconditional. When you taste acceptance your eyes and your heart open, but when you swallow that shit without chewing you’ve reached a place where anything goes — you’re you, happy, content, fearless and free, regardless of what ‘goes’.

Such acceptance doesn’t come alone, it’s accompanied by uncompromising self — acceptance without compromise. We give freely, live authentically, love, consider and respect others. …