A Monsters Guide…

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Recognise this little guy? You may have seen him popping up in Monster stories. You may (or may not) recognise him popping up in your own life too.

Cute huh. Innocent looking. Well, allow me to introduce you…

Trauma is everything you’ll ever need, right when you need it. The best friend, parent and partner you never had. Your ally, soul mate, comforter on lonely nights and armour against the world. Your loyal and loving right hand, your personal consigliere, always by your side, always got your back.

At least, that’s what it wants you to think.

Trauma paints reality like a master at work, a picture Michelangelo would be proud of; “The greatest trick trauma ever played was to convince us it doesn’t exist.”

It’s cloak and…

One Of Life’s Lessons

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Whilst not dissimilar to ‘don’t take it personally’ — this life lesson is about our identity and self-awareness; *knowing* who we are and what we put out there in the world rather than not taking what others say or do to heart.

It’s about being confident and unflappable in our truth against the inevitable judgement, cross-examination, misunderstanding and rejection we face in life every day.

Our self, character, intentions, values and meaning. Our actions, words, thoughts, even our being. Once vacating ‘us’, they travel through the ether and enter someone else through their filter (brain). An interpretation or understanding is formed from their perspective, their lens into the world, creating a unique perception of us and everything about us.

We can be perceived as weak when we’re strong or strong when we’re weak. Critical when challenging. Untrustworthy when honest. Selfish when selfless…

A Monster Bite

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Put your ego aside for a moment and recognise you’re not the centre of the universe.

Take your time.

By recognising our insignificance, that we’re not unique in our struggles, pains, triumphs and joys. That our lens is ours and ours alone. That what matters to our ego is not what truly matters. And that these truths are shared by every human being on earth, we discover our why and our way in the universe…

…our true significance — how we can live to inspire and fight for what matters to all of us. That we’re all equal.

We’re challenged to do this each and every day, in every waking moment we exist, every interaction with…

They say…

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Aaaah ‘positive thinking’, that old chestnut. Here’s the thing, when is ‘positive thinking’ good and when is it not?

Being positive all the time is bullshit. It just means we’re living in Fakenewsland, a false reality where we happily avoid the shit that actually matters. Shit that prevents us from having genuine positive thoughts and experiences.

Let’s be real — life is brutally shit sometimes. That’s normal, the same for us all to more or less a degree. To deny it and rely on false positivity is actually damaging to us humans, our brains ain’t stupid. ‘Faking it’ grates against our authenticity, storing up the difficult stuff. That feeling eats away at us, preventing our true self from being.

Stop denying it.

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Truth bomb alert 🚨

You are going to die. Death happens. At some point. To us all.

Brutal huh.

We have no control over when or how we die, but we do have control over when and how we live. The why that’s missing? That’s inevitability. We’re going to die which is why we must live.

This is the one thing the majority of us humans seem to shy away from with a strange unified denialism, yet, quite acutely, it’s the only certainty, the only absolute truth that we all agree on. That’s a weird paradox huh.

When it happens outside of our immediate…

Oooh Yeeah!

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The power of choice.

Something we all possess, all have the capacity for. Our dreams, our goals, our purpose, our struggles, being a good human — these are often rooted in knowing (or rather being more certain in knowing) what choice to make.

Uncertainty is often what holds us back. Self-doubt, mistrust, survival, fear…

However, uncertainty is inevitable. We can actually never be certain of anything. Certainly anything outside ourselves, and when you think about it, we can’t always be sure of our own thoughts either. So we kinda need to find a way through it.

Experience, trauma, learned behaviour, they all have a…

A Monster Theory

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Whilst chatting with my wise buddy down in SA, he casually dropped this comment. My brain stopped what it was doing and smiled.

So simple, yet so profound, a beautifully positive fliparoo on a commonly shared and (perceived) negative intrusion in our minds. The act of procrastination is a subconscious avoidance tactic, something we can all do and can often leaves us feeling negative about self. The longer we procrastinate the worse we feel it seems.

Instead of the dread and guilt from feeling we’re not ‘doing’, wasting time by avoiding something challenging for us, we feel positive instead. We accept our current state of mind, forgive ourselves, allowing the negative intrusions to pass through us.

It’s simply grounding us in our awareness…

A story about Death

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Vast. Black. Empty it seemed.

Stretching beyond anything reached for before. Despite the all-consuming effort. This was new, quietly comforting with its sinister silence. Floating mutedly (quite peacefully actually, which was surprising to me afterward) I felt free.

But empty it was not. Free I was not. The dark within was like a welcomed blanket when there was nothing else. No love. No joy. No hate nor sadness. No feeling at all. No reason for being. No me.

As I looked up, frightened for myself for the first time in 27 years, I gazed into the eye of the endless…

A Story About Re-entry

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The road to healing, letting go, reconnecting with ourselves and living from a place of our authenticity is fraught with obstacles and challenges.

Shit we cling to, avoid and deny. Shit we try so desperately to understand, when in fact that could take a lifetime and likely be something we never will.

In the meantime, we’ve taken our eye off the ball of what truly matters, our pursuit of happiness, of living.

We’ll never be able to grasp ‘Why?’. Why people hurt us, say what they say and do what they do. It’s not our responsibility to understand them, it’s only ours to accept or not. Stay or go, whichever best supports our authenticity. So when is ‘enough enough’? …

Oh, it’s you again. Hey. What’s Up?

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When it comes to more meaningful connection with other humans, boosting happiness and finding our way through the swamps and barbed-wire in our hearts and minds, we cannot deny the most meaningful connection of all — the one we have with ourselves.

We can’t go around trying to inspire a world on its knees if we’re not prepared to get down and dirty in yourself first. Monster or not.

“Are you happy?” is a question I’ve asked myself more than any other. Certainly from the age of 21. That’s around the time my relationship with happiness became so damn personal. One of the many moments where we grab the seat of our self-worth pants and *choose* to propel ourselves toward better in life.

It’s had its up and downs of course, as all relationships do. The one we have with ourselves is…

The Monster Guide To Life

Life, love, self and monsters.

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