‘Fruitless’ and ‘futile’ sum it up perfectly. You can waste so much time wishing, theorising, trying to understand, attempting new ways of communicating in a way that gets resolution (mutual resolution) and doesn’t trigger them. You validate where you have in fact messed up. Perhaps out of frustration or anger…being human. In doing so (which is the right thing to do) all you really do is provide ammunition. Even being a good human is wrong and futile it seems. How can this be? How can it be twisted so? Don’t even try to understand, you can’t, not really, your brain doesn’t work that way, unless you embody your environment which can happen. That feeds into it. The best thing is to just do you. Narcissists deserve love as much as anyone. More so in fact. It’s not an easy existence, yet learning not to take bait or engage, knowing your limits, creating space for self, doing your thing and loving your life you can nurture something that’s mutually beneficial. No relationship is perfect, we all choose our battles, our happiness and our pain. Choose wisely. If you have the strength and inner worth you can blossom even in the presence of narcissism. It’s about learning not to enable it. Know who you are and detach from the slander and flying monkies bullshit they spread.