This is actually what I believe to be the case with my partner, after years of research and support, the lack of openness and communication, narcissistic tendencies, hurtful behaviour, lack of empathy etc are all projections from their own experience. Unhealed abuse trauma. There is no excuse for abuse, but sometimes we can create space for others to do the work they need to heal themselves by taking care of ourselves and not succumbing to the trauma being projected. Seeing and believing in who they are (we’re before their own abuse). Love always wins, just need a lot of self love in your back pocket)