Whilst I understand the negative bias towards narcissists in the beginning of the article, I don’t believe the majority fall into that category which felt very much like the extreme end of the scale.

For me we need to remember that everyone is human, we all sit somewhere on the spectrum, and that yeah, this trait, however severe, is caused by trauma. So mostly emotional, something that can be unlearned given the right circumstance.

If you’re a partner of, say no. Be assertive. Reinforce boundaries. Love your own life, see friends, spend time away from them. Look after yourself and your own mind. Learn about narcissism sure but don’t obsess or pay too much mind to 90% of what’s out there on the subject, most of which is either clinical diagnosis or tainted with hurt and anger.

To understand narcissism you need to understand self and be able to remove the unhelpful labels, find compassion, empathy and humanity. Whilst the traits are there, and you will be confused as fuck, it’s often NOT full blown NPD. Look for the in-between, the glimpses of real behind the mask, the vulnerabilities, the human being.

The danger of labels, and writing about them in a way that focuses on the negatives, unwittingly removes human compassion. Something everyone needs, and deserves.